Hopes

Been a while since I have posted, well a while for me. I had a busy weekend, cleaning and recovering from an atrocious work week. I chose not to post anything on New Year's resolutionish, or nostalgic because I was not really in the mood. I also don't believe in resolutions being set just because it is the new year. People will change when people want to change not just because it marks the beginning of some psychological concept of time. Hmph! Enough of the rant.

While I did not post resolutions today I noticed that there are personality aspects that some people display that really bother me. I of course understand that the reason these behaviors bother me so greatly is because I have the potential to exhibit them. I recognize these behaviors as unhealthy and binding to a life of sorrow. I fear these behaviors because I'm at such risk for them. These behaviors that I so dispise are so easy to adopt because they feed the ego. We all seek to have an satisfied ego, unfortunately the quick satisfaction will eventually result in death. It is the entire concept of delayed gratification. We smoke the cigarette, or eat the candy, drink the booze, suck the caffiene, do the drugs or seek the sex in order to feel that LOVELY moment QUICKLY instead of seeking that long term satisfaction that endures through life. The quick fixes in life such as the above mentioned offer us a temporary satisfaction but not without the consequence of death, bad health, depression, or a life of darkness. The quick fixes for the ego also result for us in death, death of the soul, oppression of the spirit and loss of ones inner light.

The quick fixes for the ego are simply behaviors that get us immediate recognition, validation, or acceptance. The behaviors that yield these results are usually behaviors that will quickly be recognized by the truly enlightened as behaviors of mental or spiritual illness. Once these behaviors are recognized as such our actions that seek quick fixes for the ego will become annoying and we will become transparent, having to go to greater extremes to receive satisfaction for our ego. Unfortunately the "greater extremes" will eventually be disregarded or deemed unacceptable by society and we will be found lost, pinpointed and disregarded, the EXACT OPPOSITE of what our souls needs.

The answer to preventing this life of disregard, loneliness and sorrow is to work on developing a silence of the heart and mind. Quieting and taming that inner need to be recognized or adored and learning how to build others up by appreciating what is good in them. In order to become the whole person that I aspire to be, I hope.

I hope that I never see it as acceptable to find the failure in others and bring it to light as to make myself appear better. (I already catch myself doing this in some respects.)

I hope that I never forget what it feels like to be forgiven so that I may always forgive.

I hope that I learn to always let go of the past so that it does not shape my future in a negative way or send me too far down the wrong path. Holding onto the past can quickly eliminate life.

I hope that I learn to accept validation so that I no longer seek it.

I hope that as time goes on I will grow more and more mute so that I can make room for wisdom.

I hope that patience, tolerance, and integrity are things that I will continue to strive for.