Sentiments

I have more than I want going on right now in my life in the interpersonal department. Apparently my filter for sifting out problems in that section has a huge whole in it. Despite the amount of different issues, my dealing with them has been going rather well. I knew that at some point in my life the issues that exist would surface and come to the forefront of my life, what I did not know was how well equipped I would be to handle them. I definitely however, cannot take all the credit for being so prepared. It is not only the knowledge and ability to handle these situations that I have been blessed with but those around me that offer the support, insight and feedback that get me through.

I believe that over the past year it has been made clear to me what I look for in friends and who those people are in my life. As I have stated before I never quite understood the need for female relationships. Over the past five years I have been proven wrong. I would like to retract that statement and clarify that I could not live without Danielle, Naomi, Laura, Pamela, and Crystal in my life. Despite the fact that it is not as often as I would like that I get to spend time with these wonderful women, they are my life force!

Chatting with anyone of these amazing and inspirational women for just a mere hour seems to brighten my life for weeks. These women represent motivation, inspiration, passion and love to me. They are career minded, motherly, friend needing, relationship stumbling, learning, growing, inspirational people all in their own ways. While some may live states, counties or only minutes away I keep them near my heart. Moments in friendship may not always be smooth. Time together might not always be possible, and what we planned, ironically, might not always go according to plan but in the end I would do anything to make sure these women stay a part of my life in whatever way they wish.

All five of these amazing humans are so completely different yet so much a part of my life. It is almost as if each one of them is an extension of a corner of my personality. They make me feel human, remind me that its okay to be flawed, but that the love me just the same. They find my personality quirks amusing and help me find the lesson in my mistakes. Best of all, together we always find the shelter in the storms, or at the very least we share an umbrella.

I'm working through these issues right now and I think that they are presenting themselves to me in order to push me into forming a new support network and helping me grow up. Over the past few years it was revealed to me that I had role transition issues. I was expreiencing periods of anxiety and sadness and it was because ties in my life were being cut and my life roles were changing but I was resisting. Consciously I knew that there would come a point when I would move into a role where I was a supportive force but a part of me was still leaning. I have come to find that I can still lean just on different beams of support and at different angles.

I have been taught over the past few weeks that it is not the responsibility of others to change to fit into my life, but my responsibility to set up boundaries and allow into my life who actually fits. Relationships are like clothing. They come in different sizes and fits and not every size or fit looks good on every person. It is unrealistic to think that you can feel good in every relationship. It is not possible to have every person fit into you life and feel good. You have to be exactly who you are and choose accordingly what feels good and "fits." Of utmost important we must comprehend that as we live, we change, and we grow and what was a good fit before may now have to be scrapped but there will always be something that is comfortable as long as you are willing to try it on.

People change. People exprience and live their lives and sometimes that means letting go. As the quote dictates, "The toughest part of new beginnings is saying good-bye." Unfortunately new beginnings are inevitable and resistance futile.