Akira was born today. Holding her in my arms, holding my friend in an embrace, and just feeling the thick rich love in the room made me realize that there has been a shift in my life. My life is about being an amazing mother and wife. My heart has opened. Priorities have shifted naturally for me. I have been resistent to roles changes because my heart was filled with fear about my abilities to let go. Now, I realize that what I was holding onto was my ego, holding onto activities and a lifestyle that filled my head, but emptied my heart. I have always believed that my life purpose was to be a mother, do work in the world for its betterment, through my life and my church, and to be a radiant source of comfort and love. I have fallen short lately. I have blamed my short comings on lack of time and chaos in my life when in fact it was my own doings that cut my time short and created chaos. I have been wasteful with my time by occupying myself with futile activity and involvment. I have been looking for connection in a disconnected world. Now that I have "plugged into" a world of connection, I'm renewed. I didn't expect transformation, wasn't really looking for it and I guess thats what it takes to find it, because here it is!
Amazingly today, I got house work done, fixed meals, exercised, went to the store, ran errands, took care of myself, my husband and a three year old and was able to visit my friend in the hospital and spend time with my husband. I'm tired. I thought today would be exhausting, but it was quite the opposite, I would say exhilirating. It is so simple, when your heart is in the right place you can do amazing things. When you have the intent of doing good, you do good. When your heart and intentions are pure you radiate.
My fear of letting go of activities that include drinking, partying, dancing, and engaging in de bachuary is no longer existent. The fufillment that I felt today that came from being an wife, a mother (for the day), a house keeper and having an amazing job made me feel solid and sexier than I have felt in years. I can feel the forces no longer pulling me but inviting me to continue on the path that is bringing me towards fufillment.
I know what I want, what I need, and how to get it.
About Me
- Julieann
- I love sleep, and food (eating and preparing) which doesn't always work out too well for the waistline. I adore chocolate and my husband. My friends make me feel amazing all of the time. I like to shop but I'm a very very very simple girl. My goal in life is to only surround myself with those items necessary for survival and when that has been accomplished I can slowly add things to my collection that define me, however they must be useful. Water is where I'm most comfortable. I love a good book and travel. I'm very fond of helping others. I can be cranky. I don't wear make up often and I love running around naked.
No comments:
Post a Comment